Here is a disturbing reality of life… and it’s not new…
Thanks to reasonablyliberal for posting this on his blog, Ok, Fine
TYT Network
Nearly one in three college men admit they might rape a woman if they knew no one would find out and they wouldn’t face any consequences, according to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of North Dakota.
But, when the researchers actually used the word “rape” in their question, those numbers dropped much lower — suggesting that many college men don’t associate the act of forcing a woman to have sex with them with the crime of committing rape.
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My Soapbox 
It is unusual for the blogger to comment on their own blog, however, I feel compelled to share this with you because “rape” is considered in only one way… but it isn’t just that way.
As I share this, I pray that you don’t think less of me as a result of it. However, if you should, I can understand. I don’t like this part of my life either…
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What is sad is that most people, men and women included, think that ‘rape’ means she is beaten, her clothes are ripped from her, she is forced to have sex (in various forms), and then left in her condition of shame.
Rape can be that. But it cane be just as simple as saying no, and the man not taking no for an answer. The woman then feels she must give in or he will ‘take’ what he wants. Either way, he is getting what he wants, against her will, even if she appears to consent.
Unfortunately, I have a long history of sexual encounters with men that I did not want, but was more inclined to just give them what they wanted rather than risk them taking it and waking my children and finding their mother beaten. I had been abused by my first husband while pregnant with my firstborn. I believe he is the reason that my son was born while I was only 6 1/2 months along. Praise God that there was nothing wrong with him, save that his lungs were a bit ‘sticky’ so if he appeared to stop breathing, we would have to flick his feet and he would take a breath. He only stayed in the NICU for 4 weeks and came home weighing 4 pounds 5 ounces; quite under the normal weight that hospitals release infants to go home but they needed the bed and he was coin g well. Keep in mind, they were handing him back to a 17 yr old mother, and 19 yr old unable to finish his Air Force commitment of 4 years of a man that had stolen a woman’s purse from her. The woman asked the judge to have mercy on him as she saw that I was first pregnant and then I was with the infant in the courtroom. He was hard to find in the infant carrier! Being born at 3 pounds 11 ounces, and losing the normal weight that babies do, he dropped to 2 pounds 12 ounces. They had to tube feed him as the act of sucking took too much energy and would use up what he was given. Fast forward to today… he has served this country in the Army’s 82nd Airborne and is a honorable man. He stands a 5′ 11″ and I wouldn’t want to cross him! He is a good man. He may look like the man that offered up the sperm, but the man that raised him, and gave him HIS name, is his father.
Thankfully, I never got pregnant by these other men. And I am ashamed to say there were more than I can count. Some my children saw. Others they never knew of. Fear is a very motivating factor. Until I met my husband, I cannot count the encounters, and I am so ashamed even though they can be considered rape because I did not want to, but agreed to out of fear. So, then is it rape? I consented out of fear.
Again, I apologize for sharing so much of what really doesn’t need to be aired on your blog. I am trying to stop the tears. But now the memories are coming forth and they won’t stop.
Forgive me.
nanarhonda
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